With Aspen turning 3 and a new baby, I remember being so overwhelmed, exhausted, and depressed.I just didn’t feel like myself. I mean I got up daily and did the essentials and took care of the kids, but I didn’t feel normal. There wasn’t a nanny that I could call and have them take the kids. It was me, hubbs, and two toddlers. I didn’t shower in a few days, real talk. I was experiencing Postpartum Depression which can be very real and scary.
This was no joke. I realized that what I experienced was real. There were periods where I was sad for days. I was very emotional and didn’t feel like doing anything. I knew I loved my kids, but something was off. I remember just crying in the shower for no reason at all. To make it worse, I didn’t know how to fix it. The house was a mess, I barely ate, and let’s not even talk about sex appeal: my poor husband.
There was no enjoyment in life at the moment. My body was out of sync. I recall having hallucinations while laying in bed at night. My mind was racing. I eventually went to see my doctor for some assistance after dealing with this on my own for weeks, possibly a month or two. She recommended a therapist, psychiatrist, and doing some yoga or taking a walk to get out of the house and out of the dark.
Having gone through this period opened my eyes as a women and mom. Experiencing Depression is common, but often not discussed. Many women, like me experience depression or anxiety through out their life. However, my first time recognizing it was after having a baby. It forced me to be open with my doctor about my feelings and getting the assistance prescribed worked for me.
Ultimately, It didn’t last long, and soon, I started to feel like myself.
If you feel that you are not feeling ok or yourself, know that you are not alone and there is help out there. SAMHSA’S has a nation helpline to support you. It’s free and confidential. Too many times we attempt to be strong and remember that we are human and loved. Don’t suffer in silence momma, those mommy blues don’t last forever.
